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THE SEARCH FOR A LIFE PARTNER – By Alegzanda Assante

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(At a table in a candle-lit rooftop restaurant overlooking the city-scape, a man and a woman sit gazing longingly into each other’s eyes. The following dialogue follows)
Man (taking her hand): Baby, I love you, and each time I look into your eyes, I see forever and a day; hold my hand honey, let’s walk this road together, be my wife, have my kids. Baby, would you please marry me?
Woman (stands up and lands a stinging slap on his face): I KNEW IT!!
Man (looking confused): Babe! You just slapped me! But why?
Woman: I just knew it!
Man: You knew what?
Woman: So it was you?
Man: Me? Jesus Christ! What did I do to you?
Woman (Pacing back and forth, pointing at the man): Ehn! So it was you all along?
Man(this time, he looks totally scared): Babe, you are scaring me!
Woman: Ha! Don’t tell me that. Even Pastor said he saw it!
Man: Pastor saw what?
Woman: Yes, pastor saw it! Even I (beating her chest) I saw it in my dreams! So it was you?
Man: Sweetie! are you alright? (he gets seriously confused and starts to smell the liquid in their bottle of wine)
Woman: Keep quiet and let me talk. I have waited more than two
decades, I have prayed, fasted, sowed all sorts of seeds, bought books and listened to tapes, even went out of my way to be nice to every male specie of marriage-able age! Every Saturday was a different mall, I went from the Accra to A&C mall, from Melcom Plus to Busy Internet, looking for you! I left my “chick-lit-flicks”, my Desperate Housewives and Tinsel for Sci-fi movies that I didn’t even understand, just so I could learn how to enjoy the things you love. I took up new hobbies, watching football and soring my thumbs at the Playstation. I went to Family Chapel, from Family Chapel, I went to Winners Chapel; from Winners Chapel , I went to Light house, from there I went ICGC, looking every where for you like I was looking for a needle in a haystack! (Turning around suddenly to face him) Now tell me, are you a needle? Did I have to buy a microscope or telescope to see you? I lost weight (grabbing the hems of her top), went from a size 14 to a size 10, so that when you see me you’d love what you see. I took a short course at Legon Business School, worked for all the Multi-nationals. I even opted to be seconded to Australia, I said to myself, “maybe he is white.” I came back empty handed! Then I left Accra, went to Kumasi, from Kumasi I went to Takoradi, then I went all the way to Sunyani, why? I didn’t even mind if you were a “nobody”. I joined Hi-five, from Hi-five to Facebook, then I went to twitter and started looking for you in my followers list, I even had a blog on which I ranted, posts without end, hoping you would show up! For where? I uploaded only my best pictures on Facebook, infact I took photo sessions to look my best, all for you o! My friends ended up match making me with every Tom, Dick and Harry, at first I didn’t like it, but as I grew older, I embraced it! I attended all the weddings, whether the invitation was direct or indirect! You know what they say about meeting your life partner at weddings? The next place I was hoping to check was the moon, before you crawled out, crawled out from the house directly next to mine! Ehen!! So it was you all this while? The neighbor I said hello to every morning? Were you trying to destroy my faith? You almost rendered my prayer life useless? What were you doing HIBERNATING in that house all this while? What were you waiting for? What sign where you looking for? Do you want to kill me before you reveal yourself?!!!

(man is speechless and confused, almost in tears, she then turns and sits with a mischievous smile on her face. Lowering her voice, she continued softly)

I have waited almost three decades for you, and all along you were next door. I have loved you in advance and missed you even more.
(She holds out her hand).
Now kindly be a gentleman, get down on your knees and put that shiny rock on my finger!!


N.B: (To all single ladies)
QUIT LOOKING IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES, LET “THE MAN” FIND YOU, IT’S HIS JOB!

(To all the single men)
PLEASE COME OUT OF HIDING, THE LADIES ARE WAITING, AND REMEMBER,
IT’S VERY “UNGENTLEMANLY” TO KEEP A LADY WAITING!

Post originally by Don Legzy, you can friend him on facebook here.

Have a great weekend.. + I heard today was No Panties Day =)) such holidays we have on Earth!!

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Live, Love, Life

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I was walking through some part of town and I saw this quote

“True love is highly valued treasure found in exploring” – Chinese quote

 and it got me thinking, how long do you have to explore before you find your soul-mate.

Someone once told me,

LOVE AND DEATH ARE A LINE APART

THEY ATTACK THE SAME ORGAN

ONE TAKES THE HEART ITSELF AND SHARES IT WITH ANOTHER

THE OTHER TAKES ITS BEATS AWAY

So how long before you find a heart sharer, you never know when your beats will go away.

There can be times when you like someone, and the person just doesn’t care as much. Yes, some people are really good at suppressing feelings, but why not show that you care once in a while? Crazy yeah?

There is no life without a partner

No answers without a question asked

No emotions without a conscience

No friendship without you!

Everything in life can be achieved by planning and taking deliberate steps, but you know there are certain things in life that come unplanned and you need to have courage for a great leap. Risks must be taken at some point in time.

It only takes a minute to crush on someone

Probably takes an hour to like someone

Not more than a week to love someone

But to forget someone, that takes a lifetime, you’ll be dead before you forget.

Don’t go for looks – they can be deceiving.

Neither should you go for wealth – even that might fade away.

Go for someone who will make you smile for a longer time that they might make you cry. (You cannot deny it, sometimes, the people you love will make you cry)

Go for someone that makes you smile, because it only takes a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

Explore, carefully and wisely, find that special one that makes your heart smile, and never let go of her/him.

To end this post, I’ll quote Elizabeth Barett Browning

If thou must love me, let it be for naught
Except for love’s sake only. Do not say
‘I love her for her smile, her look, her way
Of speaking gently, for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day’
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee, and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity’s wiping my cheeks dry,
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love’s sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love’s eternity.

PS: Check out http://librivox.org/ for inspiring pieces of poetry and audiobooks that are stocked in the public domain.

Like many, love all, but stay in love with ONE – Youkay Agwu (2009)

A wonderful weekend to you all!

A wonderful Easter and a happy Passover to you all

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Hello friend, compliments of the season.
I got this in a BC (BBM broadcast message) this morning, and it got my head twisted! Its not like I don’t know English, but I’m not a fan of complex and obviously ‘borrowed’ words. I say borrowed here because as we all know English is a popularly ordered cocktail of different languages. Here it is:

Easter Greetings From Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon.

“Beyond the fugacious razzmatazz of the moment, I seriously call attention to the rutilanting and coruscating modus vivendi of Master Jesus the Christ and I dare pontificate that save and until we viscerally emblematize the virtues of self-immolation, quintessential abnegation, eulogizeable simplicity, Christ-like humility and immerse ourselves in a platonic emotionalism of agape love and communalistic service, we would have woefully failed in learning and imbibing the true meaning of EASTER.

We must elevate this moment from a proscenium of joie de vivre into one of meditative transcendentalism”.

Happy Easter!

LOL! Even though my phone brings most of the words as errors, I wouldn’t condemn the message as grammatically incorrect because the English junkies would attack me from all corners.

For the Christians, Christ is Risen!
For the Jewish, its the Celebration of The Passover.

Let us all use this moment to reflect on our spiritual lives. Yes! There are probably very few people on earth who are a unit distance close to God (trust me, even those who claim to be aren’t) but let us all try to draw as close as we can to The Creator.

Happy Easter, Pesach Samiech! May God enrich you and your family with the beauty and bounty the spring season brings (Although I do not call it spring where I’m from :$).

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The People We Love

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I got this in an email today, and decided to share it with you. I have no idea who the original author was, but its a great story


Imana eburu ozu onye ozo, odika ebu nku. I guess you are wondering why someone would start an article in Igbo, I’m wondering same. In recent times, I have seen people ask or tweet: “Why are young people dying?” The truth is, people, young or old die everyday, but because these people are not related to us or are not in the limelight, we often don’t know about their deaths.

Everybody is loved by someone and pray never to lose the people they care about. Back in Uni, a particular girl came to school and acquired a lifestyle that was popular in school even though her family could not afford the lifestyle. She lied about everything from the colour of her favorite panties to the colour of their gate at home. She claimed her parents lived abroad and only saw her during the holidays.

She deprived her parents the opportunity of seeing her during holidays, as she would rather spend her holidays with her new found friends who stay in Lagos instead of travelling to Mgbidi to help her mother in the farm. After some time, when her mother couldn’t reach her, she decided to go visit her in Enugu. She packed fruits and Corn in a brown Akpa Rice and took the usual Wagon from Mgbidi to Enugu State.

On getting to the University, she went to the Business Management Department and someone directed her to Lady Ibiam Hall. Equipped with the correct room number, she took yet another Okada from “Abuja” to Lady Ibiam. The potters sent someone to inform her that her mother was around, gist went round the hostel and a small concerned crowd gathered to meet the much talked about mother of a happening UNEC chic.

She came out with her roommate and saw the fine elderly woman dressed in a gown carrying a black bag and a brown “Akpa rice” filled with Oka, Ube and food ingredients. Standing there, was her mother and when she saw her daughter, she called out “Ukachi”, her native name which she thought was uncool and had changed her name to “Stacy” She didn’t want people to know that she has been lying about her background, so she did what she thought was right. She said,

“Please who are you? You are not my mother and I don’t know you. This is how you crazy people will be going about claiming other people’s children”

Chai..

Without waiting for the woman to say something, she walked back to her room. The woman waited, cried and sat down hoping she would have a change of heart. Ukachi didn’t come back out Her mother was asked to leave by the porters when she couldn’t prove that she was Stacy’s mother. With nowhere to stay in Enugu, the woman ended up taking a night bus to Mgbidi. That was the last time she saw Ukachi and the family she left behind in Mgbidi. The bus had an accident and nobody survived.

Ukachi’s mother died heart broken and unsure of what took place in Enugu. When the news finally got to ‘Stacy’, she broke down and cried. She opened up and blamed herself for killing her mother. Stacy broke the heart of a woman who loved her. She broke her mother’s heart and will never get the opportunity of asking her for forgiveness.

Different people love us and we’ve also loved different people but in some cases, we always shy away from letting people know how much they mean to us. Some of us have been in relationships where we’ve treated our partners badly but have never thought of going back to apologize to them even though we know that we took their love for granted. Everyday people get into relationships with other people just for the sole purpose of using them for selfish gains. The way life is structured, nobody really knows their last days on earth and because of this simple reason, it is wise to acknowledge those that love you and treat them right.

We cannot choose our parents and I also don’t think any parents came to the world with the purpose of becoming unsuccessful. We all have a dream; they had one and probably still do. They may not have made it in life like Dangote but they gave you what no one else could have given you – LIFE.

Love your parents; take good care of them in their old age. Complain less about them. Be kind to people so that when you are old and weak, people will take care of you without wickedness in their hearts. Don’t be in a haste to share bad news; everything bad is a loss to someone. So after reading this, take out time today to tweet, call, sms or hug someone you love.

When we are no longer here, we would only be remembered by our deeds.

This goes out to the ones we love.

A really touching story yeah? And the thing is that it happens. It might sound cruel, but it really happens. Please show some love to the people you care about, and don’t forget to tell them that they mean a lot to you [In addition to sharing this too..LOL..]

Have lovely days ahead

YouKay.

*If you are unsure of some of the words contained in this post, please drop a comment, I’ll be glad to define them for you*

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